The irony of it all

A long time ago, I was 17 and was happily writing poems due to an unrequited crush. I was also enjoying the attention of my friends who loved the poems I wrote. After all, it expressed my innermost emotions and it ryhmed too. Until one friend commented it was quite plain. His reason ? There was no IRONY.

Since then I have resigned to the fact that I will never be a writer or a poet but it had led me to be fascinated with the idea of irony. It has become the frame in which I view or perceive the things around me, and is now my new best friend. I would just dismiss something as not good enough if there is no irony. Recently while watching the media campaign on organ donation at my parents house, my father commented that it did not evoke his emotions and it will never match those by the late Yasmin. To that , i added ..yes I agree totally and there is no irony too. Well, so the simple use of irony can make a clever discussion between a father and daughter .

Anyway, my main point is I do not fancy the idea that something or someone can be so good or so bad. But I often fall into the trap of believing that others are having it better than me, that other people's lives are so perfect. Fellow teachers whose students love them and pours out endless admiring messages in their facebook, loves every minute in the classroom and who speaks so convincingly and executes greatly too. Fellow mothers who are so proud of their children doing so well in school and getting along so well with their siblings, who can wake up early in the morning while the rest are asleep to cook and who are still immaculately dressed when they are out with three kids.

Faced with my insecurities, it is the idea of irony ( ironically ) that helps me cope. For I tell myself that irony is natural to us humans and life in this world. Describing contradictory statements or situations, irony shows that people are not perfect and develops from the realisation that life does not always measure up to promise. That makes me feel better. Especially when life ( and mothering ) are full of ironical moments.

Like how experts n books keep saying that walkers are potentially hazardous or detrimental and would delay development . So no walkers for me. Yet, everyone I know who use walkers for their kids are able to see their kids walk before their first birthday. And me, the by the book idiot waited many months after that and will probably have to wait again the second time round.

Or the love hate relationship i have with staying home. 7pm and I am so exhausted and could not take it anymore and wishing that I could just exit and my kids could take care of themselves or something. I feel like kicking myself for if i am not a SAHM then it would be easier for me to take little breaks between work and home. But at 9pm I would be singing happy songs again and feeling so thankful for being with them.

Then there was this time when my brother and his family informed all of us that they were intending to migrate to Australia ( they have since gotten their PR ) , I began to hit the panic button. Hey, didn't i plan to migrate too ..wasn't i the one who took foreign language n all ? shouldn't Tasha n I be doing something now to get out of the country. I started to franticall y look for my Nie cert in case i need to get a teaching job elsewhere. I didn't find it but coincidentally, came the holiday to Australia. Going to Europe 3 times and Australia 4 times in my younger days and loving them was not the same. Somehow the thrill and the fun was not there anymore. Reality check .. I am a mother to 2 kids and the difficulty of managing a family overseas is multiplied many times more. End of discussion. I am staying here.

And lastly, how despite wanting to stop doing the typically unsingaporean things and do more cultured things , I end up jostling with thousands of singaporean parents the previous weekend who ( possibly ) had the same aim as me- to expose their kids to arts and culture, to do as activities at the ACM's open house.

Yes, so I may be ambiguous or even contradictory. But that is ok. Life ain't perfect, but it is good. Ironic? Even better.