Of cavities and haircuts.

Just when we mothers thought we have encountered all sorts, every new child will always present us with new challenges to solve, new behaviours to deal with or new illnesses to treat. And the best thing is that when that happens, I can put on my sociologist and researcher hat and start on my intensive "information gathering" on the net or books of course, "interviewing" other mummies. That, I think, is truly a privilege that we mummies have. :)

Thus, when I discovered a little dot on Akif's front tooth a couple of months back to the time he finally saw the dentist on Tuesday, I had actually found out some interesting facts for myself.

1. That there are only 11 paediatric dentists in Singapore.

2. That explains why it was impossible for me to get any appointment dates this year. Dr Rashid is booked throughout and all I could I get was to be on the waiting list ( only if somebody cancels) for a date that is a month after I call.

3. The charge for a paediatric dentist starts from $90 for consultation. <>

4. Oh, and in order to fill in a toddler's tooth, the options are either General Anaesthetic of Laughing Gas ... ( The same one that we mummies use when we are giving birth? .. can't imagine using that on my poor Akif .. I remembered vomiting after I inhaled that gas . Aiks )

5. That there are conflicting arguments as to whether breastfeeding is a cause for decay. While breastmilk has something that could help prevent decay, when it is mixed with sugary stuff .. it could even have a more potent effect .. Let's say Akif just ate one chocolate cookie and then he nursed and fell asleep, that would have a more disastrous effect on him.

So anyway, I needed to make sure that I get professional advice and I decided not to go to a neighbourhood dentist.

This was especially importanat as I had just experienced a traumatic experience with Akif at the Malay barber just a couple of weeks back. He cried and struggled and wriggled and screamed, but that guy took his own sweet time and took TWENTY horrible minutes. Earlier this year, Akif still cried despite being shown Barney and given a balloon at the Parkway Parade saloon. But at least, the auntie did her job in 5 minutes and so that $20 was worth it in the sense that I endured less crying time.

Since that day, I have resolved to only go to "specialists" when it comes to Akif.

I narrowed to three Kids Friendly Dentists- not paediatric ones, but just those that are more ready to treat kids. The more popular one is at GPA United Square, and then there is Smile Inc at Forum. I decided on Smileworks at Paragon for the very selfish reason that it has been quite some time since I have been there and I have been yearning to go to Orchard Road again. ( especially when i alighted at Orchard MRT and didn't recognize Orchard Road anymore ).

The final outcome. Yes, Akif did cry and scream when we got in. That enabled the dentist to have a look at the tooth. Total cost $30 consultation and $30 for the mousse. While the dentist was nice, the place was too posh and quiet for a screaming boy I thought. The row of cubicles and the bright lights also too Science Fiction for my liking..

I would still have to do my homework before deciding on the next option when he gets his teeth filled maybe four months from now, or however long it takes before he is ready to co-operate. And that homework part, is a role that I relish :)

Enrichment Madness - Part 2

It is now February, and I am glad that Iffah has settled in well in her Kinderart class. A class did start in Pasir Ris, with 3 other girls who are all equally passionate about drawing and colouring and could spend that 1 hour focusing on their art piece . And with that, I could put a check in one of the boxes of my checklist that says : An enrichment class that Iffah likes and enjoys, which will help to further develops her skills/interest, something that is not covered in her school, something that I can' t teach myself at home. Checked.
But that does that solve all the enrichment madness ? Not yet, because there are a few more left unchecked. Like an enrichment class that she might not necessarily enjoy, but is equally important because it either teaches fundamental skills, or to improve something that she is not good at in the first place. Like

1. Madrasah / Qur'an : Nowadays kid start madrasah earlier and earlier .. and since Kidz Meadow only incorporates Iqra' and daily doas, I am like panicking a bit because I did not enrol her anywhere for this academic year. I must start deciding which class would be good/ fun ?. Al- Istighfar Mosque ? Or Cordova ?

2. Swimming .. yes she can play in the water .. but real swimming ? Should i wait until swimming enrichment classes in primary school ? Iffah is not physically inclined so getting her to go a class might be challenging .. but I don't think I can teach her myself. I can't even make her lift her legs away from the ground.

And even if i do enrol, how do I fit them in ? Morning before her school starts ? Evening ? Sunday ? Or Sat .. before/after her art class ? I am amazed at how other parents manage their time, and how are their kids so receptive to going to so many classes.

Then there is Akif. After recovering from the initial shock that one My Gym class costs around $37, I finally forced myself to go for a trial class. I sort of know what to expect as Iffah did go for one My Gym trial around the same age. ( but it was free during her time ) . So, yes, Akif could not sit and listen to instructions and cried everytime the trainer touched him. And it was also a dizzying experience for me ... as I had to run, spin carry whatever. The class serves its purpose- it was very physical and it will probably help Akif's balancing, tumbling and agility and all.

Nevertheless the English teacher in me prefer the Gymboree kind, whereby physical play is incorporated with themes , imaginative play and the teaching of concepts ( in and out, up and down ) . And I remembered that it was not too costly sending Iffah there. It was only about $26 per lesson. So at the end of the My Gym trial i told myself that Akif would probably prefer Gymboree as there are no trainers who touch him, and the set up there are more friendly to toddling babies.

I even told myself that I do not mind making my way to Tanglin mall during weekdays while Iffah is in school . But of course, it is not happy ending just yet. Last week I called to enquire and was so disappointed that the price for Gymboree has ballooned. It now costs $399 for 12 lessons so each class amounts to $33. knowing me, I would end up taking cab and back so each trip/lesson would set me back at least $60. Sigh.

So again there is the vacillation as to whether to go to My gym in Tampines or Gymboree further away or none at all. I like the idea of him in a class, with other kids, and me interacting with other mums every Thur afternoon while Iffah is in school.But seeing my money in the back getting less and less month after month , I think I will wait until July to send him to Gymboree Tanglin Mall. In the meantime I need to convince myself that it is perfectly ok not to send Akif to any gym class now. ( cos the insecure mum in me keeps telling myself that I'm either not being fair since Iffah did start Tumble tots at 13mth ..or Akif and I will lose out something somehow by not putting him in a class ..ugh )

To spree or not to spree.. the maths of it

Yesterday afternoon while Iffah was in school, I went to Parkway Parade ( my favourite shopping haunt ) and was glad to say that I did not make any purchases from Fox or Esprit or Mothercare, Pumpkin Patch, Isetan, Kiddly Palace etc .. (only bought books at Borders). Those who know me know that I usually end up splurging at PP, but I was too lazy to browse the clothes on the racks and hangers and they just looked too messy and unappealing. After all, it has been much more fun looking at items neatly arranged in grids and squares and scrolling up and down and zooming in and out.

I first joined a spree four years back to get myself a pair of Birkenstock. While it does not seem justifiable to pay more than $100 for a pair of sandals, getting one that cost around $30 less than RP seemed like a pretty good deal.

Last month, I joined a couple of spree again because of the great discounts they seem to have online. ( WARNING - from this part on, this blog entry will get really really technical )

One spree was from BabyGAP. 25 % discount for the orders above 250USD. Keen to get Iffah out from her Strawberry Shortcake T shirt and skinny leggings which has been her uniform since she turned 3, I let her chose 3 outfits.

1 Smocked dress : http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=6436&vid=1&pid=707588&scid=

2. Heart tunic top : http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=49690&vid=1&pid=707608&scid=707608002

3.Puffed sleeved T-shirt : http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=49690&vid=1&pid=707535&scid=707535082

price was 25 , 15 and 12.50 USD

With the discounts and exchange rate, the price was :52.5 x 0.75 x1.45 = $57.09

With most sprees on VPOST , the shipping is somewhat a surprise so I will know only when I get the items.In the end i had to incur a shipping of $9.88 .

After doing the maths, the items cost me around Sing Dollars, $29, $19 and $16 respectively. Still quite a good deal as the prices were cheaper than what I would usually have to pay for similar items in Fox or mothercare. Iffah loved them ( yes they were all dark pink and did not wear any of her strawberry shortcake T shirts last weekend )

But since it was on a spree organised by others, there must be some mark-up somewhere , exchange rate, as well as the shipping so I have been toying with the idea of ordering myself directly from the websites. After all, it is not too difficult to set up a Vpost account. The opportunity came when Old Navy had a free domestic shipping offer for items above 50 USD. Now that wouldn't be too difficult to achieve right ? I do not have to spend hundreds of dollars and I could save on the exchange rate, shipping and the hassle of self collection or postage. I was on the verge of ordering until today afternoon when I did some mock-up calculations based on $56 worth of spending while Akif was taking his nap.

Scenario 1
Me ordering directly
$56 x 1.43 + $ 13 ( Vpost base charge ) + $25 ( international shipping by weight ) = $118

Scenario 2
Ordering from an organised spree ( with registered postage )
$56 x1.46 ( mark-up ) x 0.9 ( organiser's member discount ) + $3.84( shared Vpost charge ) + $25 +$2.24 (reg ) + $3.05 ( mail ) = $107.7

Scenario 3
Ordering from an organised spree ( self collection )
$56 x1.46+ $3.84( shared Vpost charge ) + $25 = $110.6

So despite the mark-ups and postage fees, a spree is still more cost efficient because of the shared Vpost base charge among all the spreeists and additional discounts. The only way I can save on my own purchases is by getting friends to join in as well, in other words, be a spree organiser myself . Which mathematically, is a very tempting idea but . But for now, I will go back to checking out more sprees. FitFlop spree where are you ???

Aurora Iffah Aqila Minnie Mouse England Australia

Yestarday, Iffah threw a screaming fit for 20 minutes just as we were getting ready to go for a birthday celebration because somebody put her favourite clips in the star container instead of her favourite love boxes. Last week, just as she was getting ready to bathe and go to school, she discovered ( horrors of horrors ) that her Minnie Mouse hooded towel was hung on a purple hanger and NOT a pink hanger. And then, in the evening a few days later, I told her to bathe and left for the kitchen to heat the food. She did not check the time and undressed when she saw a watch and realised it is not 6.16 pm, ( the time that she wanted to bathe ) . Oh oh, another round of screaming and tears.

The daily meltdowns are no surprises, but what fascinates me are the source of meltdowns. Just when I thought I have covered all angles and pre-empted any possible tantrums, she will somehow manage to find something new that she is unhappy about.

The thing about her is that she is so into this favourite colour, favourite number thing and how things must go in some particular order. If I were to look at it positively, she could be described as very detailed, meticulous or systematic. On the other hand, she could also be seen as obsessively perfectionist and super fussy.

Like how her favourite number is number 6. So she would only bathe if it is 6.16 pm or 6.26 pm and so on. And how she insists that our car must be parked at a lot with the digit 6. ( If Atuk forgot on the other hand parks in a lot with number 6, she will throw a big fuss ) However, her
obsession with number 6 is so overbearing because she will be scrutinising even serial numbers ( on her ez link card, shoe boxes and packet of smoo milk ) .. If there is number 6, she will be exremely happy and if there is none ... well I have to end up weaving some story to convince her that it is ok ... or how there must be some mistake somewhere ... Sometimes I succeed, other times ... oh well ... like a few nites ago she asked me why her birthday was on 17th Feb and not 16th Feb ... Apparently my answer was not good enough ..cos she went to her room, sobbed sadly into her pillow and fell asleep.

Then there are her favourite days, Wednesday and Sundays. So on these days, she must wear her favourite colour - which is dark pink ( not light or medium but dark - close to fuschsia ) , or her favourite T-shirts, and her uniform must be size 26 . ( there is only one pair of that and 2 pairs of 24 cos really i think 24 fits her better ) . So yes, I have to ensure that these favourite clothes must be washed immediately and dried so that they are ready to be worn on her favourite days. For a few months, I was actually wearing dark pink on every Wednesdays and Sundays too but thankfully, she has finally stopped checking out and insisting that I change. Phew.

Sometimes I tell myself that her attention to details is perhaps what makes her able to read, count or draw and colour well. But I also worry that her fussiness makes her unlikeable, unfriendly and ... easily stressed. Like how she gets upset when she colour something out of the line and found that she could not erase it. Her teacher also commented that she does get panicky at times in school when she thinks she has done something wrongly. She is definitely someone who is not the happy go lucky type ... but the perfectionist with the roller coaster emotions. I worry that her tantrums will make her other family members think that she is rude and truly impossible to get along or that she might go through school without any friends and cry at every disappointments....

As of right now, I am at peace with her tantrums. And I will deal with any other problems as they come along. After all, I am the only mum she's got .. I can't get upset everytime or throw tantrums myself ... Even if she has decided that her name is Aurora Iffah Aqila Minnie Mouse England Australia .

Go Akif Go !

A couple of weeks back I nearly got a panic attack as I was surfing through my old blog and reading about Iffah at 11 months. There were a lot of things I wrote about her in terms of her developmental milestones ..words she understood, her likes and dislikes and all, gosh it was all so detailed... I looked at my adorable Akif and I realise I cannot do a similar "personal profile" because I haven't really observed much. I don't even know what his favourite activities are. It has been more of going through the motions and routines.

I have ingrained so much of the "boys usually speak later, boys are usually more active and not so focussed, boys are harder to toilet train, boys this boys that, " maybe I have set too low an expectation, so much so that I seem to be at peace even if Akif morphs into a laidback mat.

When Akif was 9 months, I was telling him to do many things ... Akif, clap !! Akif, arms up !! Arms up !! Smile Smile !! Wave your arms , Akif ! And to all he just responded with a bye bye. But because he was my cute and handsome boy, he was forgiven. ( Boys do get away with many things )

Anyway, he is turning one next Tuesday ! Yikes ! Everyday I keep telling myself I must do more for his intellectual development, and I would start off quite well in the morning singing during his bathtime and chatting with him and all but as the day goes by, I find myself just flipping magazines as he plays with his toys or merely hovering around him to ensure that he doesn't fall. Most of the time, I am thankful that his older sister is around to play and entertain him cos I would be running out of ideas of what to do.

Thankfully, he seems to be communicating more recently. Could do more gestures on instruction and beginning to sign more too . ( Iffah and I were deliriously happy when he signed milk about 2 weeks ago ) .. ( Iffah the perfectionist has been the one who is not too happy when Akif did not know his signs or mix up his signs and all so she was really very happy for his brother )

So, yes, I am really looking forward to celebrating his birthday next week ..and hopefully I can motivate myself to do more too ! Go Akif go !!

Inactive activism

I badly need to embark on a cause, or something to champion for. I was reading Urban a couple of weeks back and looking at the BAG page. ( I love Urban and I love the BAG page .. for the obvious reason of knowing what bags personalities use, but hmm I also love the quirky personalities featured ) And there was this Malay lady who was the head of Unifem Singapore and her job includes visiting countries such as Cambodia and Indonesia to implement a range of programmes such as imparting business know-hows and setting up crisis centres for abused women. I have always been fascinated by all these UN sounding organisations .. .. Unesco, Unifem , or by the things that personalities such as Angelina Jolie does, such as creating awareness of refugees or promoting humanitarian causes ( whether or not it is for mere publicity is a different issue altogether .. i shall not dwell into that. To be able to do such things is good enough for me )

And so suddenly what I do on a daily basis are so insignificant. I am not saying that I should start packing my bag to work for Greenpeace or raising awareness for landmine victims. It is just that I want to do a bit of social activism too, something small, yet significant.

When I was a SAHM with Iffah, and so into the whole mothering thing, I did dabble in perhaps what I could call breastfeeding advocacy. Became a la leche league and BMSG member, attended a couple of La Leche meetings, attended talks and events like setting the world record for simultaneous breastfeeding and even got the opportuntity to share my experience with new mothers at KKH ( thanks Su for that chance ) . Well, I did believe that all babies deserve the best, so I was just doing my part to share the benefits of breastfeeding. And yes, life seems to be more meaningful when you have something to champion for.

Alas, when I started teaching , my breastfeeding activism sort of died down. Time was a factor, plus I was also not very comfortable with the idea of my naive 15 year olds seeing me appearing in the papers, breastfeeding my kids . To them, breastfeeding merely equates baring boobs I suppose. Also, I felt a renewed interest in teaching ... teaching became my cause, I do not need another cause. Far more importantly, I also felt that breastfeeding was, a very much personal choice. There are so many factors at play as to why someone chose to breastfeed or not. I do not like being told what to do, so I shall not be telling others what to do.If you want to breastfeed then good for you. If not, then it is fine with me too. Since then, if anyone is interested to breastfeed, I will answer any questions or help in any way i can but even though I've breastfed for 4 years non-stop now, I am les gung ho about extolling the virtues of breastfeeding to those who feel that they can't.

So right now, I am without a cause again. Or maybe I do have many causes, just that there are no great sounding names to go with them. Oh well, till i discover what they are, I better get some sleep cos Iffah has been complaining that I am always so sleepy in the day.

The irony of it all

A long time ago, I was 17 and was happily writing poems due to an unrequited crush. I was also enjoying the attention of my friends who loved the poems I wrote. After all, it expressed my innermost emotions and it ryhmed too. Until one friend commented it was quite plain. His reason ? There was no IRONY.

Since then I have resigned to the fact that I will never be a writer or a poet but it had led me to be fascinated with the idea of irony. It has become the frame in which I view or perceive the things around me, and is now my new best friend. I would just dismiss something as not good enough if there is no irony. Recently while watching the media campaign on organ donation at my parents house, my father commented that it did not evoke his emotions and it will never match those by the late Yasmin. To that , i added ..yes I agree totally and there is no irony too. Well, so the simple use of irony can make a clever discussion between a father and daughter .

Anyway, my main point is I do not fancy the idea that something or someone can be so good or so bad. But I often fall into the trap of believing that others are having it better than me, that other people's lives are so perfect. Fellow teachers whose students love them and pours out endless admiring messages in their facebook, loves every minute in the classroom and who speaks so convincingly and executes greatly too. Fellow mothers who are so proud of their children doing so well in school and getting along so well with their siblings, who can wake up early in the morning while the rest are asleep to cook and who are still immaculately dressed when they are out with three kids.

Faced with my insecurities, it is the idea of irony ( ironically ) that helps me cope. For I tell myself that irony is natural to us humans and life in this world. Describing contradictory statements or situations, irony shows that people are not perfect and develops from the realisation that life does not always measure up to promise. That makes me feel better. Especially when life ( and mothering ) are full of ironical moments.

Like how experts n books keep saying that walkers are potentially hazardous or detrimental and would delay development . So no walkers for me. Yet, everyone I know who use walkers for their kids are able to see their kids walk before their first birthday. And me, the by the book idiot waited many months after that and will probably have to wait again the second time round.

Or the love hate relationship i have with staying home. 7pm and I am so exhausted and could not take it anymore and wishing that I could just exit and my kids could take care of themselves or something. I feel like kicking myself for if i am not a SAHM then it would be easier for me to take little breaks between work and home. But at 9pm I would be singing happy songs again and feeling so thankful for being with them.

Then there was this time when my brother and his family informed all of us that they were intending to migrate to Australia ( they have since gotten their PR ) , I began to hit the panic button. Hey, didn't i plan to migrate too ..wasn't i the one who took foreign language n all ? shouldn't Tasha n I be doing something now to get out of the country. I started to franticall y look for my Nie cert in case i need to get a teaching job elsewhere. I didn't find it but coincidentally, came the holiday to Australia. Going to Europe 3 times and Australia 4 times in my younger days and loving them was not the same. Somehow the thrill and the fun was not there anymore. Reality check .. I am a mother to 2 kids and the difficulty of managing a family overseas is multiplied many times more. End of discussion. I am staying here.

And lastly, how despite wanting to stop doing the typically unsingaporean things and do more cultured things , I end up jostling with thousands of singaporean parents the previous weekend who ( possibly ) had the same aim as me- to expose their kids to arts and culture, to do as activities at the ACM's open house.

Yes, so I may be ambiguous or even contradictory. But that is ok. Life ain't perfect, but it is good. Ironic? Even better.

Enrichment madness

Last Sunday was my maiden attempt to bring Iffah to an enrichment class again. Actually, it was not really a full class. It was more of an open house cum trial session at Monte Kidz Elias Mall and I have been wanting to send Iffah to Kinderart since she was 2 but have never found the opportunity. So when I received an sms saying that there was a free trial art session, I immediately registered for it. After all, Iffah has been complaining that she hardly has art lessons in school and has been telling me that she wants to go for art classes so that she can to learn to draw more beautiful girls and princess.

Well, I have always been a big fan on enrichment classes. I always have this mindset that they are more fun and engaging ( due to the short duration ) and they are more specialised. Thus, I have been more than willing to send Iffah to Gymboree Play Tanglin Mall, Gymboree Art Parkway Parade and Kindermusik Tanglin Mall the past two years. As that was before we had a car, we would take the train to Orchard and if Tasha was working I would take the cab. Simple. But this year, with Akif in the picture, it is not so simple anymore.

Earlier in the year, Iffah was in Kindermusik. It was a parent participation class and as Iffah was still unstable we left then 1mth Akif in the care of my dad a couple of times but he soon said that he wants his Saturdays free. So whenever Tasha was working, I had to forego the class ( almost $30 burnt each time ) ..And even when Tasha was around to push Akif in the stroller while I was with Iffah inside, there was once when Akif screamed so he knocked on the door and I left the room to tend to Akif. Iffah did not want Tasha to accompany her n then screamed n created a big scene. She did not want to go back in until dear Akif was sound asleep and I could then accompany her again. So when the term ended, I decided to stop too.

Well, half a year has since passed and as she has adjusted well to both Akif and the idea of drop off classes, I have started enquiring on some enrichment classes. However, I would only go so far as Pasir Ris area.. so I had brought Iffah to Loyang Point to check out the Crestar Yamaha classes and I Can Read at White Sands. I thought I Can Read was atrociously expensive! About $500 for 11 weeks and that is not inclusive of other fees. Plus it looked too much like a typical classroom setting .The English teacher in me was thinking that she could do some grammar , composition or comprehension practices but I figured I would stay away from the enrichment classes that are too regimented for now. So, I am still not so sure if i should also enrol her for the Yamaha Junior Course as 1. I have to purchase an electone and practice with her and again, it looks too rigidly structured.

I am more inclined to enrol her in more fun classes. Interestingly, Monte Kidz at Elias Mall has Kinderart and Kindermusik enrichment. They even have Speech n Drama classes by Act 3. However, response has not been too good and even though I am hoping hard there are enough kids to form a Kinderart class, I figured that Arts is really something that not many parents would put their kids in. Sigh.

So back to the trial class last Sunday. Tasha was working the night shift on Saturday . So I was rushing to get ready my two kids. Iffah was eager so getting her ready was easy. Alas, it began to rain heavily just as we were leaving so I had to call a cab. So there I was braving the rain , with Akif in the ergo, Iffah on one hand and umbrella on the other. During the trial, Akif was not too happy waiting while his sister is drawing so it was quite difficult as he wriggled n struggled to get down . I brought him to McDonalds, tried to bfd him to sleep and all but he was still one whiny baby. Eventually I just went to one corner and carried him to sleep.

Iffah was soon done and she proudly showed me her drawing of a goldfish and rabbit. But by then, I was really exhausted. We hailed a taxi and went back ... and seriously for the next hour or so, I was too exhausted to entertain them.

Iffah was really happy .. but I wonder if I would be able to do it every week. And this is just 2 kids ... What if there is 3 ..or 4 ? Need to find a class or a location that would meet all their needs .. Anyway, I have not resolved Iffah's enrichment headache yet .. but I have just discovered that there is a MyGym in Tampines!!! Yay !! Hopefully I can find a weekday class between 2 to 4 next year so that I can accompany Akif to My Gym while Iffah is in school :):)

Changing perspectives

I am blogging right now cos I'm feeling a little bit smug about Iffah's achievement. As usual, I was lying on my bed with sleeping Akif and waiting for Iffah to fall asleep. Tasha was on his afternoon shift and usually gets back around midnight. However, after 20 min, I did not see any signs of Iffah's sleepiness. In fact she started humming the ewa ewa besok hari raya song. Not wanting to fall asleep while waiting for her to sleep (like i always do every other night ) , I decided I had enough and told her I will be outside in the living room "doing my own things" . Well, she did peep a bit and rolled on the floor a bit but eventually she did fall asleep on her own ! A major milestone for her. Alhamdulillah, she has gone through and matured a lot this year.


Well, that brings me to the main thing that I have been wanting to write about. About how my perspectives have changed since having 2 kids.


With no.1 , I was quite excited over developmental milestones. Every day was a new eye-opening experience. Mothering was an adventure.. from trying out new recipes .. to painstakingly making DIY Glenn Doman flashcard. Every little thing I did with Iffah must have an objective in mind, be it physically or emotionally . Right now, maybe my standards have slid a little, but accelerating Akif's developmental milestone is no longer on the agenda. In fact, I often wonder if I neglect him cos he seems to be merely co-existing with the rest of us in the family.


My main concerns are their health and my sanity. Feeding my kids well is on high priority. What's the point of being so intelligent, but so sickly and scrawny. Mummy shall not just be good in teaching them ... Mummy wants be a good cook for them too.


As for my sanity. The desire for me time has never been more pressing now that I have 2. With one, I can be sane even though I was with her 24/7 for a year. After all when she naps or sleeps, I can do other things right ? But with 2 ? and how about 3 or 4 ?? And while I used to brush off the idea of setting aside couple time without kids, I now see the logic of it. The four of us can be together the whole day ... but for the entire day, Tasha and I would not have had any decent conversation at all cos we are just centred on minding the kids. So I would no longer frown on others who are often seen without their kids.

Thus, my conscious effort to do the Supernanny thing. Tell a story. Kiss them good night , tuck the kids to sleep and get out of the room. Previously , while I liked watching Supernanny, I could never think that I could do such a thing. But now I am beginning to appreciate the rather organized and ordered scenario she could create. Iffah's dawdling n moving about during mealtimes were initially tolerated cos I wanted her to eat as much as possible, plus I had the time to entertain her. Now that there is Akif to watch over, I have gone to the extent of setting time limits and withholding snacks to ensure that she finishes her food quickly. And the results are amazing. :)

At the age of 29..

- I've just discovered how alluring the world of bags and shoes is. Previously, shoes and bags were like things I only think about when Hari Raya is near. Now all that I keep thinking about is I need to get that gladiator sandals or I must really check out that 'Easy' bag.. looks quite maintenance free.

- I realise I've not been making effort to socialize. Well, it is difficult enough to find time to leave the kids at home for me time or couple time, let alone friends time. But narrowing my options to just having outings with friends who are mothers is not exactly sending the message that I value all types of friends equally. Well, at the end of the day, not knowing about old chums getting married and finding out that the person that one of my friend married to was not the boyfriend whom I thought she had made me feel that I should do more to keep myself updated with what is happening with other people and not be so self-centric. Reading facebook or blog entries do not count.

- I'm still contemplating of different career options. Well, I did think that I want to teach for a long time. When I was in MUIS, I felt I 'd rather talk than write, these days , I am thinking of the opposite.. I'd rather write than talk . Like journalism, real social research .. or some social activism .

- 30 doesn't seem old anymore. Well, I don't feel old. But I am irritated by the "young" 20 somethings who are loud, rude and materialistic and think that they are too pretty and sexy for the world ( maybe they are , but where's the humility man ? ) Or maybe, that's a sign that I AM old.

All about Food

Same thick hair, same chubby cheeks. But that is where the similarity ends. Iffah loves her milk, but not her food. Akif is the opposite, he is not a drinker but feeding him so far has been quite a pleasurable experience. After 4 years of feeding a girl whose favourite phrase is "dah kenyang, " I was beginning to feel that I must have done something wrong somewhere.

Well, I did try. After all, when I started out Iffah on semi-solids, I bought so many kinds. Nestle cereal, Gerber cereal, Heinz cereal, Frisocrem. I tried all .. She did eat, but little. I could never finish anyting before the expiration date.

So right now, I am hoping that my little Akif will be one who loves his food. I won't say that he eats everything. He hated the cauliflowers and vomitted the bananas I gave and the apples that were not blended fine enough. However, when he eats , he eats a lot. And that is enough to make mummy happy.

My philosophy on food has changed too. I am not too adventurous this time. My primary aim is to fatten him up :) So if he likes something, I will just give. And after he reacted to Nestle ( a surprise cos Iffah reacted to Heinz n Gerber but not Nestle ) , I began to be interested in Organic Food. I like Healthy Times cereals cos the brown rice cereal contained just that ..brown rice. and not a long list like other brands, making it hard to trace what the allergens could be. And as Iffah did not take well to Heinz , I opted for Heinz organic this time.

Right now, Akif's food are blended papayas ( his fave ) , pear , apples and blended carrots.

Healthy Times Brown rice cereal and Oatmeal cereal

Heinz Organic Golden Vegetables .. Yummy. Iffah could never finish anything in a bottle .. but Akif can .He has finished two and Im thinking of buying more .. so handy for day trips n travels.

Well, I can't wait to see how likes his porridge.

Family Friendly wedding

With a girl who will kick up a fuss everytime I wanna bring her out and a baby who was circumcised just 2 days before, I wasn't sure that going to my secondary schoolmate's wedding was a good idea. Firstly, Tasha was at work . Secondly, it was at the other side of singapore and thirdly unlike a typical Malay wedding where you can come and go this was a church wedding which my 2 kids and I had to sit through for a period of time. I was fearful that kids would be disruptive so I actually checked with my friend to make sure that kids could come along.

Well, I should not have worried. I soon realised how family friendly a church set up is . Once I was there, I saw that the back seats are reserved for parents with kids ( and labelled too). That's good since it is easy for parents or kids to move in and out.

Then, if babies start to wail , which Akif did 30 min after the ceremony started cos he wants to be fed, there was this special room. It was like a room at the back ..with a glass screen ... you could still see the ceremony and hear what was going on as there were speakers inside but no one outside could hear you. The name of the room wasn't flattering but hey, it served its purpose.

And not only that there were also many books and toys in the room. Iffah even found a good book for babies ( those black white red kind ).

And in addition, the halal food was family friendly too. Iffah never eats the briyani or ayam masak merah during Malay weddings but she was happily lapping up the fried mee poh which was not spicy. So yup, it was indeed a lovely wedding ceremony and yay no tantrums or fussiness from my 2 kids either. Thanks Yaling , you really made me feel welcome!

Mothering 24/7

I must have been fooling myself to think that being a second time mother would make things super easy. In fact, I was actually lulled into complacency in the first week Akif was born. Birth was fast.Breastfeeding was easy as he latched on immediately, and when he came home, he slept peacefully in the cot. Even though nights were tiring, I had some good nights when he slept a good 3 hours each and only cried for a feed. It was completely different from Iffah who cried a lot more and was more difficult to breastfeed. So by the end of the first week, I had actually managed to go online or read every night, watch the final 2 episodes of Little Nyonya ( which i ensured Tasha recorded before we left for the hospital ) and was looking forward to 15 more weeks of such bliss.

Well, to cut the story short, the next 4 weeks were really big tests. Although I was not feeling as low as I was when I had Bell's Palsy during the first pregnancy, I must say that the tears did fall again.

Week 2 - Akif got admitted for his high jaundice and I chose to stay throughout to breastfeed. Iffah refused to leave without me so I had to go home with her late at night and sneak out again at midnight. Of course, spending 12 hours at the hospital was really stressful for a 4 year old but nobody could persuade her to go home.

After the stay, there were times she started to cry and kicked a fuss when I held and breastfeed Akif. Phrases such as " Ibu tak boleh dukung adik , I nak campak dia , I nak cubit dia, taruk dia balik" coming from the girl I once adored was too painful. At times, I even resented her. Our journey to Tanglin Mall for her Kindermusik class that week was also a waste when she woke up and threw a tantrum cos I was carrying baby. She refused to go to class and we all had to go home.

Week 3 - Once my urut was over, sent Iffah to school again after not being able to send her the past two weeks. Had to brace myself for her struggles and cries.

Week 4- Iffah had fever which lasted quite long this time. Missed school again. Her jealousy was of course escalated so I had to tend to her most of the time. There were times that I had to give Akif EBM as Iffah would not let me spend time with Akif.

Week 5 - One week of adjusting to her school. She was fine in school but crying everyday at home in the morning and evening everytime she thinks about having to go to school the next day. At the same time, I felt sick too. The flu virus was really powerful that OTC Peppermint Woods and panadol didn't help. I was having fever every other night and night times were truly exhausting.

Week 6- Akif's turn to get the cough and flu. Had to deal with his bouts of crying and vomitting. Thankfully Iffah no longer cries and actually looks forward to school.

Anyway it made me realise what maternity leave is all about. It is 4 months privilege of 24/7 mothering. When else would I get the privilege to be with my kids at their times of joy and pain? Of course, some personal time is important too but it was downright unrealistic to think that I could use my 4 months to lavish myself with spas, facials, hair treatments, long distance holidays, catching up with cooking, scrapbooking, polishing on my driving etc etc.

So yes, I have accepted the fact that trips to Orchard Road on Saturdays are no longer fun. ( Too tiring ) And Iffah is not the big sister who is mummy's little assistant in soothing her crying brother.Iffah will always be herself the girl who is talkative, bubbly and loves to kiss her little brother but will still have her tantrums and meltdowns.

8 weeks of my maternity leave have already passed. Will definitely cherish every single 24/7 moments of mothering I have left.

The birth of Akif

Well, just to summarise the birth of Adik Akif, which happened about 5 hours after another big event of the year - Kakak Iffah's first day of formal school.

Sunday 4th Jan :
Afternoon
I felt that the day was about to come, although I was hoping that it would not come until weekend so that Iffah can go to school for about a week. Anyway , I spent the day out at Plaza Singapura, as I really want to jalan jalan before being confined.

Night
Some contractions ...but irregular. Nevertheless I decided to go to sleep early just in case I need the energy the next day. The whole night was peaceful ... no contractions ... had a good sleep.

Monday 5th Jan
Morning 8 am :
I lost my mucuos plug. Same sign as my first pregnancy. The first time, I was only dilated 3 cm 24 hours after the bloody show and I when I surfed, a bloody show could even mean birth 2 weeks later so I was thinking I could hold on till Wed or Thur.

12pm
More blood but no contractions. Got Iffah ready for school and told Tasha he could still go to work that night unless I felt pain. Accompanied Iffah for her first day Orientation from 1 to 3 pm. No pain still

4.10 pm : Took my laptop from my school, do not want it to be there for the next 4 months. Thought of using it that night at my parents place when Tasha is doing his night shift.

4.35 pm : Weekly Appointment with Dr Heng. Surprise I was 4 cm dilated. Dr suggested I go home , have dinner and pack and go to the hospital at night. Should I wait for regular contractions I asked ? Nope just come. Still, I was not convinced and planned to go after maghrib.

5.45 pm : Reached my parents house to drop off Iffah. Tasha went home to get my things. Had been telling her she has to stay overnight at atuk's house while ibu is at the hospital. So she was ready.

6.00 pm : Felt pain. It was so intense that i wasn't even comfortable praying asar sitting down. Called Tasha to hurry up and said I cannot wait until maghrib.

6.15 pm : Told Tasha I cannot wait until he finish his food. We need to Go. NOW.

6.30 pm : In the car .. peak hour traffic !! Jam !!! Argh. Tasha was panicking as I was groaning in pain and cannot even sit straight. I was praying hard that I will not give birth in the car.

7.10: Finally . Eastshore ! Cannot walk anymore .. Wheelchair !!!!

7.15 pm : Nurse checked and it was 6 cm. Asked for gas .... yikes . Felt drowsy and vomitted all the peach ice blended. So no choice had to bear the pain without the gas.

I could then hear Dr Heng's voice around 30 min later but she went next door instead. Could hear screams and a crying baby. Hearing that, I was contemplating more pain relief.

However, she soon came to break the water bag. The pain level was even higher and the thought of epidural came into my mind but then the Dr told me to push whenever I was ready.

You mean I could push for the baby to come out now ? I asked the nurse. So push I did. No episiotomy even. And after 3 pushes, there it was my no. 2 who arrived at 8.20 p.m. Relief.. Chatted with the Dr about wanting to watch the final episode of Little Nyonya while she was stitching. Hoping that I could catch the ending back in the ward.

It all happened so fast. I even jokingly told Tasha he could still go to work there and then. Oh well, it is almost a week now. Now, I am hoping for some sort of day and night routine and to quickly resettle Iffah back in school after missing it the rest of the week.

Third time lucky

We went to changi Airport three times last week, just to catch Mickey and Minnie meet and greet session. Frankly, I was running out of ideas of what else to do to spend the last few days of the hols and since we are not too far off from the airport, I checked out the dates for the session and saw that there was one on the 24th Dec.

Just as everyone had gotten ready, I realised that it read T3 Transit, meaning that it would not be held in the public area. But since everyone was ready, we just went ahead. So it was really just a peek from the viewing gallery.

So after that I promised her that we would see them close-up on Saturday. Alas, after seeing the peaceful crowd at T3 transit, we didn't expect the crowd. Hence when we arrived at around 3.05 for the 3.30 session, the queue was super long and all the passes had been snapped up. Instead, they were handing out passes for the 5.30 session. Since Tasha was working in the evening, I told her that we would not join the queue and cannot take any picture and brought her to the front so that we could watch the characters. However, she soon started sobbing and refused to hang around. She was there for a photo, and was clearly disappointed.

The next day, on the last day of the meet and greet, we headed there straight after zohor and was there by 1.50 pm. Passes were given out at 2.30 and after such a back-breaking wait, she got her photo. She was so proud that she kept staring at the photo for a good 20 minutes after we had collected it. But on hindsight, had I known that there was such a mad rush for such things, I would never have made a promise in the first place and subject myself to such agony.

No more Iffah

It has been more than two months and Iffah still refuses to be called Iffah. Every morning when she wakes up she will say her name. ( any of the Disney princess's names ) Sometimes she changes everyday, sometimes she sticks to one name for a week. For more than a week now, she is Aurora.

I am fine with her name changing but the fact that she gets upset whenever Iffah is used is giving me a headache. She will be upset seeing her sticker name on her story books and toys and gets angry whenever people forgets her new name.

In addition, not only is she renouncing her name. She is also renouncing her "Malayness". After 3 years of being comfortable conversing in Malay, she now wants to speak only English and insists that everybody does the same. Even the word ibu or ayah cannot be used. "That's Malay speak", she says. " I am English." Atuk gets on her nerve the most for using Iffah and his wrong pronunciation. " You cannot speak English, you cannot say Three! It is Three not tree"

She will also not hesitate to tell the teachers at Kindermusik or Montessori her name.

I am hoping that she will snap out of this phase, but I also wonder if she is being bratty and difficult.

Online shopping haven for mummies

I started my online shopping binge once I gave birth to dear Iffah cos it was so convenient. No worries about having to worry about being interrupted by feeding times or changing times. For dearest Ateka and kak Zaheedah and other interested mums, here are a list of my favourite websites.

Nursing tops
http://www.blessedmums.com/

This is a Malaysian site but a Singaporean ships the goods. I've bought nursing baju kurung and nice long-sleeved tops. ( so you don't neeed to hide when you are outside just to feed your baby ) The only drawback is that they don't have new designs that often so you may go online and see the same things a few months later. After buying some, you can always ask your tailor to imitate the designs ( the discreet nursing slits and all ).

http://www.iwantmilks.com/

http://www.momsinmind.com.sg/

I've also bought nursing tops from these two websites but the ones from moms in minds are too fitting. I thinks moms in mind are great for their acessories though ... sarong slings, pouches. Nice! There are also links to other sites in that webpage.

Toiletries
http://www.littledreamers.com.sg/
Iffah is prone to eczema so even johnson baby is not mild enough for her. I usually get California Baby products, and little dreamers has the cheapest California baby products. Lotsa nice stuff for mummies too- like confinement body wash , aromatherapy etc.

Full range of toys and equipment
http://www.babysayang.com/

http://www.babytown.com.sg/

Where i got my car seats and activity centre. To me, it is better and cheaper than the so often mentioned Kaki Bukit warehouse.

Books
http://www.wonderbox.com.sg/

So much easier to browse through children's books here!

Well, these are sites that I have bought from and I am usually a repeat customer. I used to go to more sites for kids' clothes too but I can't find them anymore. Anyway, I am sure you will find a lot more too. Happy shopping friends !

Time for big bags !

With a potty trained 3 year old whose favourite drink is iced lemon tea from the shops, I have basically enjoyed bringing just my own handbag and spare myself the hassle of packing anything for her whenever we go out. In fact, my only little black diaper back pack which has been untouched for more than a year or two has been gathering dust and turning a bit mouldy.

Now it looks like it is time for big bags again and I can't help but look at the range of yummy diaper bags online. I have always loved the neat compartments of diaper bags and the Dwell Studio and JP Lizzy bags look really good. Now I must figure out which sites ship to Singapore.

Walking and waiting...

Since I will be at home for the next 4 months at least, I reckon I need to start blogging again. a blog with Iffah's name wouldn't suffice so I have decided to start a new one.

And I have also decided to stop being so overly critical.... Well, I wouldn't want to admit that I am very negative. I have always preferred to see myself as analytical and sociological, hence accepting without questioning and critiquing has never been my style. But hey, I realise I'm getting older and so I should stop being so bitter and just enjoy whatever there is. Yup, just enjoy and appreciate life.

So rite now, I am really trying to enjoy my last few weeks of pregnancy. With the gloomy economy and lesser year end bonus I am reserving all the zoo or jurong bird park trips till later. Rite now, its free trips to parks and all. So , I have had my walking at marina barrage last week and Jacob Ballas today. Thank God the weather's good...I really hope to be able to go to Hort Park and do more walks at the beaches ... so that the wait for adik will not be too long.